Just to clarify… This is NOT a talk shit on my daughters father nor is it to talk shit about any shared custody issue. This is my story and how things unfolded.
I constantly see the same old saying/meme “DADS HAVE RIGHTS”
Let me tell you a real life situation. Might be PG-13 😂 for those sensitive to this subject.
HE never wanted to do what was best for HER.
HE always had his sights set on ME (mom) failing, hurting or better as of late, in his own words accepting my “PUNISHMENT!”.
I ACCEPT full responsibility for the mistake I made marrying such a “man” as he would like to say….. More like an over grown man child. Who couldn’t help himself to late night porn, sleeping with his bosses daughter, kicking in doors, being violent not only with words but with his hands. Once again… I know I need to own up to not only allowing this to go on as long as I did but also ignoring every warning given to me before saying the dreadful words “I DO”!
I accepted I was 100% bullied into accepting this $600 agreement through HIS lawyer with him, also blocking my access to every account, locking our daughter & I out of our once home by changing locks and ordering me to surrender all rights in the home we raised our daughter until 4yo in.
Let’s not forget why I left… YEARS OF CHEATING, lying, drug addiction, porn addiction etc. I WAS DONE!
I tried multiple times to leave!
He made these endeavors absolutely 100% impossible
Before it was not giving me a car that was safe for his daughter and I. One to ensure she was able to go to every cardiologist appointment or any appointment in that case.
If it was not for my father, Gary Sabaugh I would not have been able to escape. He graciously gave me his car. Even with that my ex-husband tried to not only flatten my tires, disconnect my car battery and in the end take my phone.
I have now seen the devil face to face.
My life was HELL with my ex-husband. It was not the fairy tale most would imagine after marriage.
I fortunately had my aunt living near by who knew of my situation and had already been preparing for Bella & I. She THAT DAY coincidentally, added me to her family phone plan. Unaware that I would-be calling her at 2am from a strangers phone at a McDonald parking lot sobbing with no shoes, no phone, a screaming daughter who was terrified of her father after all the screaming and trying to smash my car window out. I needed her and needed OUT!
Arriving at my aunts…. Trembling
She calmed not only myself but my sweet 4yo Baby Bella.
So now let’s go back to being bullied into agreements.
Not everything is black and white!
I made mistakes too. Please don’t forget I know I made mistakes.
Let’s get to where the “Dads need Justice” part…
I am only human
I reconnected with the love of life Steven. Yet he is in Arizona (where my mom and bonus dad are too) While I am in North Carolina. My life since divorce was not only chaotic but it was physically and mentally exhausting.
I would have not only my ex-husband try and come onto me constantly.
My ex-husbands friends trying to take advantage of me….
I was alone!
In a mold infested duplex, no stove, no washer/dryer, no fridge (just mini fridges) no dishwasher and no one there to help.
He picked up pieces that scattered the floor….
Bella was sick… Or on suspension… I took time off!
Not only did I suffer the financial loss… BELLA for sure saw her mommy crumbling. Making sure she was fed while I starved, her homework was done while I struggled to find energy, showering together to save water cost and so goes the struggle of a single mom with no REAL help.
HERE COMES STEVEN! My now husband & best friend…..Blasting into my life harder than a “wrecking ball” in the best of ways!
Ordering take out, helping with homework over Google Duo and so much more I can’t even imagine someone doing for us.
Yet…. No name ex-husband buys a new F-150, new iPhone, an engagement ring for his now wife while making $80,000 a year!!!!
Let’s keep the ex-wife and child in slum.
HELL YES I moved! Wouldn’t you?
I moved back to be with my now husband and daughter so I could be close to family and friends who genuinely care about us.
In the wake of all this….
John has fought me every step of the way.
Not helping with flights. Even when it was NOT COURT ordered but because I WANT my daughter to have a relationship with her father.
Who by the way…. She can’t stand! She only looks forward to seeing her fathers extended family.
I still only get $600 a month.
I have been flying her to NC like crazy! $10,000 JUST IN FLIGHTS FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS!
$4,000 in lawyer, $3,000 in GAL, crazy traveling and accommodating fees due to Covid-19 restrictions. $13 an hour to provide a personal tutor just to ensure she doesn’t fall behind. $5,000 in braces and a few hundred in glasses.
The fact is…. No matter how shitty a man he has become it is not my place to make such a rash decision in taking her away without letting her figure out who her “father” is.
Steven & I help with homework, daily life skills and helping Bella become the person she aims to be!
We are doing everything possible to ensure he has time with his daughter.
I AM NOT KEEPING HER OR IGNORING HER FATHERS RIGHTS!
Like I said I can’t begin to understand the situations some parents might have. Here is mine! It’s hard, it’s mind bending and overall it’s the hardest on my daughter.
I can recommend. On both sides.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
RESPECT THE OTHER PARENTS DECISION
(even if you hate it)
PUT ON THE OTHER PERSONS SHOES
ALWAYS KNOW NOT EVERY WOMAN IS OUT FOR MONEY. We only want what’s best!
TALK TO YOUR BABIES. You have no idea the amount of hurt you are doing by being angry.
