It all started at Cactus Shadows high school in Arizona, a girl with braces and bad highlights sitting in choir when all of the sudden a boy tuning his drums caught her eye.

I wrote a note saying “I think you are HOT!” while throwing it at him, he blushed as he read this innocent cute note yet continued with his drums! Just like that I was totally shot down!

Oh but this wouldn’t be our last encounter!

We ended up working our first job together at Cold Stone in Cave Creek, AZ. We rarely spoke to one another unless our friends were around. We had the same little group of friends who at the time mostly worked with us at the “Stone”. I honestly thought he was kind of a JERK. Come to find out he was just super SHY. He was in the band in my first play Beauty and the Beast. (I played the cutest damn plate 😂)

Soooo he was the hottest band geek! 😍

Our bond was sealed. Yet either of us knew.

I started getting into trouble and hanging with the wrong crowd. Which lead to me moving to North Carolina to live with my Dad & Step Mom. The years were dragging as most at that age feel.

Sometime had passed well a few years later around 19 years old I moved back to Arizona! It only took a few days to run into that cute boy from high school who was now all grown up living in a house with his brother and friends. I was sitting on his couch next to him! OMG! Am I dreaming….. 😍 NOPE IT WAS REAL!!!

Our love story begins.

Sitting on the corner of the counter making out in front of all of our friends who begged us to “GET A ROOM” to our crazy… I guess you could say “sexcapades” adventures. We were untouchable yet couldn’t keep our hands off each other! He was my kryptonite!

I moved in with him shortly after. Sharing a tiny room for almost a year. Which by the way is now Penelope Sue’s room!

I am going to take all the blame in this as, it was my biggest regret!

I was jealous and selfish. I left it behind to try and find adventure and modeling in California while leaving behind the best thing that ever happened to me! OMG! What was I thinking!?!

While I was there I found out I was pregnant with…. Yep you guessed it… his baby! The one I should’ve been with all along yet to stupid to admit!

I FLED! I RAN TO NORTH CAROLINA! I felt safe there at least I thought.

See I loved my father and I know deep down he loves me. I always thought grass was greener on the other side. It never was. He was always distracted by everything but me.

Women always seemed to take him away. Maybe his other children too … who knows and who cares…

So I fled… Not saying a word.

I had the forsaken word….. ABORTION!

Samuel never had a chance in this world (yes I was far enough along @ 13 weeks that it was a boy) because I wasn’t woman enough to fight for him.

Naming him was how I grieved him!

This is this first time publicly I have spoken of Samuel except to close friends and some family but very few.

A few years went by and I felt weird even telling Steven… I KNEW I NEEDED TO. I didn’t want any money, sympathy or even justice which Samuel so rightfully deserved. I wanted to make peace and bury the son I wish I could have held in my arms. Which meant at least telling his father.

Steven couldn’t make sense of all of it. We were young and he didn’t know what to think of this. That moment even if it was months later for him yet was and always on my mind. It still was nothing to smile about for sure. Still was only a MySpace message that definitely meant absolutely nothing when you are 20 years old!

We never spoke again….

He moved on and so did I. I married and had Izabella. Soon after divorced. He got into a relationship that he felt comfortable in. That pathetic past of ours has its own story … so stay tuned!

12 YEARS LATER! 2019!!!!

I am in Arizona visiting my mom and bonus dad for July 4th weekend. We are having a nice time with Izabella while visiting Bearizona and Phoenix.

I HIT NEAR BY FRIENDS. 😳

There he was 1/2 mile away from my parents.

We never connected while in Arizona but we started chatting as old friends. Reminiscing on fun memories! Yet he was in a relationship… I know how this may sound but he was 10 steps out the door with this one already. I guess I just was the final person to set him free.

July 19th 2019… yea I know it didn’t take long. He flew to North Carolina just to see an old friend. (he was single FYI)

I picked him up from the airport with butterflies in my stomach and my heart pounding out of control. I know we are friends but our story as we all know is way bigger than that.

We get in the car …. He grabs my face and KISSES ME! WHOA! I’m in shock and can hardly drive and my knees are shaking.

Do I do this all over again? Did I end his relationship? Am I doing this!?

YEP…. IM DOING IT!

I take him to the Dave Matthew’s concert. Then to a house party for my aunts birthday where he meets most of my family and friends. Wait………

HE MEETS MY DAUGHTER IZABELLA!!!!!

The very next day…Sunday… we go to Carowinds amusement park in NC. Ride all the rides and have the best of times. Not as a couple just as friends having fun. As the day comes to an end…we come back to my shitty duplex at the time…. I figure out what the kiddo needs etc. Get her ready for bed.. you know the drill.

I PASS OUT on the couch still listening and knowing what’s going on.

Steven and Izabella continue to play games and chat. Getting to know each other. All of the sudden…..

“Please marry my mommy!” Bella shouts! “Here use one of her rings!”

Him and I ignore and brush it off.

I will not gross anyone out with the details of after I putting her to bed 😜

The next day we are standing in the kitchen listening to music…. Our NOW song comes on…

Ed sheeran perfect ft beyonce…

Wrapping his arms around me from behind listening to the words as it described us perfectly.

IT WAS US! No time, no distance , no heartache….. NOTHING skipped a beat! We were back to being completely head over heels in love again!

This was just our beginning.

Yet there is so much more to come.

This story has more to tell. So keep following to here more! 😍